


Lost and Found

by delatrose (cavloe12)



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: (or 2010 really), A little angst, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Professors, Background Relationships, Eventual Smut, Fluff, I mean it's nine chapters how slow can it be, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), New York City, Problems Adults Have, Rating will change, Sibling problems, for fun, not slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-11-16 09:50:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11250648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cavloe12/pseuds/delatrose
Summary: Hanzo found the wallet and thought nothing of it. It was just a wallet of a man who worked at his university that he would simply return and never think of again except during this one night of interest. Jesse just wanted to take the man who found his wallet out for coffee, expecting nothing more than a quick meeting and quicker goodbye. Oh, how wrong they were.





	1. Memories Can't Wait

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all! I have been working on this piece for quite a while now (since march actually...) and was going to wait until I finished it completely but decided to post it anyway for McHanzo week (no, it has nothing to do with the prompts except I'm posting it on AU day so maybe?). Perspective will change each chapter between both Jesse and Hanzo.
> 
> Anyway, I will update this fic weekly for the next seven weeks by which point I will hopefully have finished at least the eighth chapter. I am looking for an editor for this fic (and possibly others), to help not just with revision and grammar but also to help me when I find a paragraph or sentence iffy in context of story, plot, or character. If you are interested, please contact me on here or at my tumblr/twitter @delatrose (if you are playing on pc and see a delatrose that is also probably me lmao)
> 
> One last thing: chapter titles are just names of Talked Heads songs and any connection they have with chapter content is vague at best (except the last chapter which is my fav TH song and is very purposeful in choice)

It was small and brown, lying on the ground as he stopped to look at it before picking it up. A wallet. Someone had just left a wallet lying on the ground. Actually, many people had left it, it was a wonder it hadn’t been stolen yet; Satya had had hers stolen not two months ago in this exact park. He looked inside and saw the driver’s license in the front pocket. He’d never seen the man, which didn’t surprise him, but he had hoped beyond hope that he did know the owner so he wouldn’t have to search him out. He looked around for anyone who looked like the man in the ID but the only people around were a couple kids on skateboards and an old woman feeding some pigeons.

He sighed and stuffed the wallet back in his pocket, he could look for the man later, it had been a long day and he just wanted to get home. When he got home, however, he found he couldn’t stop thinking about the wallet, no matter how long he forced his eyes shut. Genji was not home yet (and wasn’t likely to come back at all) so he went into the living room and one-by-one looked at all the things in the man’s wallet. He skipped the credit cards, not interested in robbing the man blind, and instead looked at the small pictures and tokens the man carried around with him.

First he looked at the driver’s license, more carefully this time to try and learn something about the man. He felt a little bad, invading someone’s privacy, but he doubted he would ever see this man in person. Anyhow, he looked the man over, his entire appearance could be described in one word: scruffy, signified by a lop-sided plaid shirt, an oddly-shaved beard, and hair that looked like it had been under a hat all day. It was probably stupid but he thought the man was sort of adorable. His birthdate signified he was only a year younger than Hanzo and the expiration date was… yesterday. He groaned. Was the man an idiot or had the wallet just been lost that long. Hanzo can’t imagine it’d been out there more than an hour so it was most likely the former. At least now he didn’t have to make a trip to the DMV, instead he just had to find out how to locate the man.

The next pocket held a university ID and he thanked whatever deity would listen to him these days. He hadn’t done any sort of worship recently and meditation was quickly becoming a thing of the past but he still wanted to, in hopes it would relieve his anxieties. Of course, finding time for himself was getting harder and harder as he climbed the ladder to becoming a Professor. He sighed and looked back at the ID, seeing the same lopsided smile, shirt, and everything else. He couldn’t help the small smile that crossed his mind when he looked at the picture. Jesse McCree, he would probably make a grin twice that size when he’s called down to the information desk to get his wallet, he wished he could see it.

He started to put the wallet down but saw the top of a picture with a girl that was most definitely _not_ McCree. He tried to resist the temptation but eventually gave in, blaming his lack of willpower on tiredness. He pulled the picture out and saw four people on it, two older men, Jesse and the girl. He recognized two of them, the older men. One was Jack Morrison from the Law school, a well known and well-liked Professor who had once been the greatest DA this side of Manhattan, the other was Gabriel Reyes, head of the History department and not nearly as well-liked as Morrison (though from when he’d met the man he had no idea why). It had always been rumored that the two of them were together and this picture seemed to confirm it, Reyes was kissing the top of Morrison’s head and Morrison smiled blindly up at him. The girl, however, he did not know, a short purple mohawk on her head and purple braids going down both sides of her head obviously rolling her eyes at the two men below her. Jesse just sat there with his same stupid grin, this time wearing a cowboy hat, his arm wrapped around the girl.

Deciding it was too late to turn back, he took out the other pictures in the wallet, looking them over and trying to find out something about the man. There was a picture of two women, seemingly mother and daughter. An old sepia photo of a vaquero swinging a lasso on the back of a horse, perhaps his grandfather. What really caught his eye, though, was a small poof of green hair in one picture that, on closer inspection, turned out to be his brother He stared harder at the photo and saw it was a bar Genji had worked at a few years back when he was between jobs (he almost always was). The others in the picture were ones he’d seen in pictures before, the daughter, the purple mohawk, and the last he didn’t know, a blond girl with a messy ponytail.

Were these Genji’s friends? He’d never met any of them, mostly due to his own request of not having strangers in his house, but as he looked at this picture of all of them smiling and happy together he felt his heart ache, wanting to be a part of this. He put down the wallet and stared at the ceiling, he was so lonely, always so alone, the only people he really cared about were Genji and Satya and they both had their own lives with little time for him. Instead he sat alone on his couch in the middle of the night, contemplating his own loneliness and his disconnection from his brother’s life

Sighing, he looked at the clock. It was 2 AM, he cursed and quickly stuffed everything back in the wallet. He lay in bed for what seemed like an hour going over everything he had looked at, the vaquero, the friends, Reyes and Morrison, his brother. But all it did was just make him more curious about the man. Maybe he could ask Genji.

“Shit,” he cursed as he looked at the clock. Lost in thought, he’d forgotten to set his clock, he’d told Satya he’d be there at 8 to look over her design one more time before they sent it off to the clients but it was now 8 o'clock and he’d just woken up. He quickly dressed and brushed his teeth, completely disregarding the shower and instead just splashing his face with water hoping to wash away the bags under his eyes. He tied his hair into its usual bun, fed the lizards, grabbed his bag and left. On the subway he realized he forgot the wallet.

The next day was just as hurried but at least this time he remembered the wallet and when his busy day had ended he went up to the information desk. At the desk was an undergrad staring furiously at her computer screen and moving her mouse as quickly as the wind. He assumed she was playing some game.

“Hello--”

“Hold up just a sec,” she said, holding up a finger. She chanted “c’mon c’mon c’mon” as Hanzo glared at her. He knew was getting old when he thought ‘kids these days’ as she started celebrating her win. “Sorry about that, what do you need, sir?” He really was getting old, wasn’t he.

“I found a wallet that had a University ID in it for a person by the name of Jesse McCree.” She groaned when he said the name.

“Again? I swear this is the tenth time he’s lost it in two years.” She said annoyedly, taking the wallet from his hand.

“If that is the case, the he really ought to take better care of his things,” Hanzo said, trying to make light conversation as she sent him an email.

“I know, he’s such a clutz, I swear. He’ll want to meet you, he always does and his face when they’re not here is always so sad, like a kicked puppy.”

“I can’t-- I really need to--” Genji had announced yesterday evening he was going to be home tonight and was planning a whole evening out for them. He couldn’t just bail on the most important person in his life for some handsome man he’d never actually met.

“I understand,” she smiled at him. “You’re Hanzo Shimada though, right? I’ve seen your work, it’s beautiful. Reminds me of home.”

“Oh, where are you from?” He had designed many buildings, most had been influenced by various Asian countries.

“Korea, that new hotel in the upper east you designed? Amazing, you can really see the influences but it still looks very western.”

“Thank you, are you an architecture student? I’m afraid I have not seen you around.”

“No, Hana Song, vis arts and film. We had an exhibit in that building right after it opened because you had designed it.” 

“Ah, yes, I remember, I did not have time to go myself but I hear it went well.”

“It did, are you sure you don’t have time to stay? He’s just emailed back saying he’s on his way.” He smiled sadly and shook his head.

“I am afraid I have spent too long already, my brother will be rather mad at me for being late.”

“Is it okay if I tell him it was you? He’ll probably come by your office to thank you.” He thought about it, considered how he had looked through the man’s wallet. He really was curious about the man but perhaps he could hide his embarrassment over having gone through his personal belongings.

“Yes, that is fine.” He hurried off after she waved goodbye.

“Anija, you’re late!” Was the greeting he got when he arrived at home.

“Genji, welcome back,” he replied with biting sarcasm.

“Ouch,” Genji said and flinched. “You wouldn’t say that to someone who’s about to treat you to… Kajitsu!”

“Kajitsu? Really?” His mood immediately changed at the mention of his favorite restaurant. “Are you sure you have the money?”

“Anija, it’s not _that_ expensive.”

“Yes, but you are not known for having that much money.” It was true, his brother was always asking for extensions of their rent and was frequently unemployed, being a freelance artist.

“Ugh, I can get money if I need to.” Hanzo just gave him a look and Genji groaned again. “Can we not ruin the night with money talk. It’s supposed to be fun! Or, at least as fun as you allow.”

Hanzo rolled his eyes as he went back to his room to change. They took the subway to Grand Central and Genji talked animatedly about his recent adventures as Hanzo sat quietly beside him, occasionally adding a sarcastic or reprimanding comment. Looking at his brother he felt great pride. Despite their rough past and Genji’s instability, he was proud of his brother for finding a life that he truly enjoyed. 

“So how have you been doing?” Genji asked him as he stared proudly up at his brother. He could see a bit of a blush on his brother’s face and he smiled internally.

“Very well, the hotel opened up about a month ago and they had an art exhibition for the undergrads in the ballroom. I met one of the artists earlier today, she was very interesting. Satya has been doing well and I’ve been… very busy.”

“That promotion got you down?”

“No, not at all. I’m very happy about it, in fact. In a year, I think I’ll have enough money saved up to get that apartment on Riverside.”

“Ah, but money is not where true happiness lies, is it?” He turned to Genji with a sharp glare to see the shit-eating grin on his face. He rolled his eyes.

“Don’t pretend to be some kind of monk, Genji, we all know your lust far exceeds my want for money.” He watched the grin turn into a big pout and smirked to himself. “I am not just satisfied with the money, but also the work. It keeps me busy in the best way, it’s enjoyable and I don’t feel as if I want to be anywhere else. I guess, sometimes, I just wish there was something else to my life besides work.”

“You need a boyfriend,” Genji said, nodding his head as if he were sharing the wisdom of a sage.

“I do not need a boyfriend,” he scoffed. “I just need a hobby, or another lizard or something.”

“Or a boyfriend.”

“I do not.”

“Or you do.” Now Genji was getting into his personal space, nudging his foot into Hanzo’s knee.

“Oh, look, our stop.” He stood up, which was a mistake because it just meant Genji had more space to lean into him. He swung his arm over Hanzo’s shoulders and Hanzo groaned, he hoped he didn’t regret this meal. 

It was once it had been a while since the boyfriend conversation had come up and their meals were out that Hanzo decided the Jesse McCree topic could be brought up.

“Genji?” He called to his brother who was stuffing tempura down his throat. He looked up in acknowledgement. “Do you know a Jesse McCree?”

“Jesse? When’d you meet Jesse?” He asked after quickly swallowing his food. “I thought you stayed away from the history department as much as possible to avoid--”

“I do,” he interrupted before Genji could finish that statement. “I just found his wallet on the ground and was… interested. I did not even know he was in the history department.”

“Interested?” Genji gasped. “Anija, do you want him? He is very handsome, isn’t he? Maybe he could be your boyfriend. I could see the two of you together, you’d be a cute couple. I think you’re his type, too. All serious and intimidating.”

“Genji.” He held up a hand, trying to slow his brother down. This is exactly what he’d been hoping to avoid. “I am not ‘interested’ in him in that way, I have never _met_ him. I would just like to know more about him.”

“Then ask him out,” Genji said, stuffing more tempura in his mouth. Hanzo just stared at him in bewilderment.

“I have never met the man, I only know what I’ve seen in his pictures.”

“You went through his wallet!?” Genji almost yelled.

“Genji, would you please quiet down? You are going to get us kicked out. And yes, I did go through his wallet, but I did not steal anything, I was only curious and could not sleep.”

“Because you were ‘interested’ in him, right?” Genji was smirking devilishly at him.

“Yes, because he looked like an interesting man. One who seems to constantly be wearing a cowboy hat.”

“Ugh, and did you see the belt buckle?”

“I did not.”

“It’s horrible.” He rolled his eyes exaggeratedly and pretended to be gag. Hanzo couldn’t help the smirk that came out of him from his brother’s dramatics. They talked about the man a bit more, about some of the people in the photos like Ana and Fareeha, the mother and daughter, Sombra, the girl with the mohawk, and Angela, the blonde one.

“You would like him,” Genji concluded. “Probably not at first, he can be overwhelming, but after a while.”

“With you as my brother, I doubt anything could be too overwhelming.”

“Sure, but that doesn’t mean you like it,” he said quietly. He looked at Genji with concern and surprise.

“Genji, I do not know what you think, but I do not just tolerate you because you are my brother. You know I do not put up with things I do not like.” Genji was looking down like a scolded child and Hanzo only wanted to know what he could to fix it.

“But what if you decide you don’t like me, what if one day you just decide you’ve had enough of me and kick me out to live on the streets.”

“Genji…” He had not known Genji had felt like this at all. They were brothers, but more than that, they were friends. He genuinely enjoyed Genji’s company despite acting like the all-suffering older brother and he was proud of him, of how happy he was, of how much he was himself.

“I got a job. At a graphic design agency. Full time, Nine-to-five and all that.” It was surprising, to say the least.

“Really? A graphic design agency? That’s good, I guess. But will you be happy there?” Genji just shrugged. The waiter came by with the check, Genji picked it up.

“I don’t know, I just thought maybe it was time to grow up. Contribute a little, y’know.”

“Genji, you contribute enough now and your job is not childish.”

“Yeah, well that’s because I didn’t really have one,” he spat bitterly. Hanzo flinched a little, remembering his words from earlier.

“I… well, if you really want to then you should. But Genji, your happiness is the most important thing to me, if you are not happy at this job, you should quit.” He said the last bit with conviction, forcing Genji to look him in the eyes as he did. The waiter came back for the check and the two of them left the restaurant in silence.

They got home and silently got ready for bed alone, no laughs, no jokes, no arguments. Hanzo was already in bed when he heard the door open and turned to see Genji just inside.

“Also, I’m thinking of moving out.” With that simple statement Hanzo’s whole world turned upside down.


	2. People Like Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> coffee "date"*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Not Really A Date Just Two Super Awkward Idiots Who Think The Other Is Really Attractive And Are Trying Not To Scare Each Other Off. god that was a terrible sentence to write. I took some liberties w/ this chapter bc? idk, but this fic is about growing and learning and relationship BUILDING rather than just instant like Wow! Now We Click and then everything is perfect so if it feels a little awkward that is mostly on purpose and they will get better (I promise, chapter 5 has one of my fav scenes and they're so cute you guys)
> 
> /Pans to Hanzo freaking out struggling to not bring up that he looked in Jesse's wallet despite the fact that i never mention it bc this is completely from jesse's perspective

Jesse realized he’d messed up when he passed the same water fountain for the fifth time. He cursed himself for not getting a map of this stupid building before coming in. There were maps on the wall but he could never quite get which direction he’d moved in when looking at them.

“Stop.” The voice sounded annoyed, he turned around and saw a girl in a stylish light-blue dress, probably a grad student, carrying a few tubes of drafts. “Please, your confusion is dizzying. Tell me what you are looking for.”

“Uh, well, I was looking for a Hanzo Shimada.” He’d gotten the name from Hana though he’d heard it around before, one of the school’s most outstanding members of something like that. The girl just looked at him quizzically. “He returned my wallet to me and I’d like t’thank him if only I could find my way around this maze of a building.”

“Ah, Mr. McCree.”

“Doctor, actually.” He was used to people looking surprised at it but she didn’t even blink.

“I apologize, Doctor McCree, Doctor Shimada has been expecting you.”

“He has? Well, gosh, sure didn’t mean to make him wait. You his grad student?”

“Yes, he is my major professor, I was just about to deliver these to him.”

“All right, well lead the way then.” She nodded and continued on her way. He followed her into a large room with four drafting tables, a desk and bunch of books on shelves with pictures of buildings displayed over them. At one of the drafting tables, in the middle of a pile of drafting papers topped by a drawing tablet was Hanzo Shimada, studying a computer screen through small oval reading glasses. He was just as handsome as his picture on the website, if not moreso. Up close he looked almost regal despite the undercut and studs in his left ear. He looked over at the two of them, first at the girl and then to him. The man’s eyes fluttered with recognition as he regarded Jesse and he tipped his hat.

“Doctor McCree, welcome.” He raised his eyebrows in surprise, no one had gotten it right the first try, especially not people as well-respected as Doctor Shimada here. “Satya, please put those by my desk.”

“Will you be taking them home?” she asked politely, setting them down just beside the desk.

“Yes.”

“Then I will go check them out.” She quickly ducked back out of them room as Doctor Shimada raised an amused eyebrow at his student. He then turned to Jesse and nodded his head ssto beckon him over.

“Howdy, Doctor Shimada.”

“Howdy? Are you truly a vaquero, Doctor McCree?” The amusement in his voice was clear, but he turned his head back to his tablet and screen. Jesse felt his heart lift a little, he’d called him Doctor McCree and pronounced vaquero like a champion. This was a man who knew just how to get straight at Jesse’s heart, and he was handsome as the devil to beat.

“Well, probably not, though I did grow up on a ranch.”

“A ranch? Sounds exciting.” He could hear blatant sarcasm in his voice.

“What’s wrong with ranches?”

“Nothing, I’m just not too fond of large animals that leave their excrement… everywhere.” Jesse huffed at the statement, of course he didn’t.

“Well, Doctor Shimada, I doubt you go into Central Park very often.” The memories he had of him or a friend stepping in horse shit in there were many. Apparently Shimada had some similar memories as he scrunched his nose and shook his head. “I came over to thank you and,” he looked over the man’s face and took note of the heavy bags under his eyes “treat you to coffee, if you want.”

“Hmm, I could go for coffee,” he said, giving a small glance up to him.

“Are you free now? I just finished up my last class for the day.”

“I am not too busy, I can finish this over the weekend.” He picked up the tablet and stuffed it and the tubes into his bag. They walked out and Jesse tried to make small conversation but it mostly failed, Shimada giving short answers or barely responding.

“Are you alright?”

“Hmm?” 

“You seem down.” Shimada just looked at him with confusion.

“How would you know what that looks like? We have never talked before.” Jesse just shrugged.

“Well, you seemed pretty chatty in your office but since we left there ya just went all quiet on me.” Shimada took a sharp inhale and slowly let it out.

“My apologies, I had a fight with my brother last night and it has left me out of sorts.”

“Hell, that sucks. I ain’t ever had a brother but I know it’s never fun fighting with family.” Shimada gave a soft hum of agreement and looked down as they walked out of the building. “If you like, I can distract you from that for a while.” That earned him a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

“I do not know what you think of me, Doctor McCree, but I do not have sex with men I have only just met.” He laughed and when he looked back at Shimada there was a slightly flustered look on his face.

“You now that ain’t what I mean, I’ve been told I got a big personality and I was hoping you wouldn’t mind me covering your emotional troubles with it.”

“I still cannot tell if that is a horrible innuendo or not.”

“It ain’t, darlin, I just can’t help myself.” By that he looked severely off put.

“Darling,” he intoned, looking strangely confused.

“It’s a pet name.”

“I know, I am just not sure if I have ever been called that. Or any pet name, really, other than what my brother calls me.”

“Y’ain’t ever gotten a pet name? You never dated anybody?”

“I have, but pet names are not something they used very often. I am… unused to it.”

“Well, I’ll get you used to it, darlin,” he said, grinning cheekily. Shimada looked at him in amused disbelief before shaking his head and turning to face the pavement.

“You are just as overwhelming as Genji said.”

“You’re Genji’s brother?” He was genuinely surprised. He knew they had the same last name, but there were so many people in New York he figured there had to be at least one other Shimada who was not affiliated with the high-spirited sparrow.

“He talks about me?” Shimada sounded genuinely surprised as well which just made Jesse chuckle.

“Only about ninety percent of the time, sug.” If he was Genji’s brother, he could figure what they’d fought about. Genji had been freaking out about telling his brother he wanted to move out for weeks. The older Shimada looked almost stunned to hear his brother actually talked about him but from what Jesse had heard, Genji almost worshipped the ground his brother walked on. Of course he also got really angry with the man pretty often as well, but that probably wasn’t the thing to talk about right now. “He never said your first name or what you did out of respect for your personal business and all but he was always talking about how great you were.”

The older Shimada seemed to get sad at this and Jesse decided it was time to take a break from all the brother talk.

“So, where do you usually get your coffee?” They chatted about coffee for a while before the conversation turned to what life was like on a ranch as they walked into the small shop filled with french pastries and the smell of chocolate.

“Damn, Shimada, you got a sweet tooth or somethin’?”

“I suppose you could call it that,” he said calmly as he gazed at all the pastries. “It is also for Genji, a peace offering, if you will. Ah, I will have a chai latte and a mille feuille.” The lady behind the counter nodded at him and he began to take out his wallet but Jesse stopped him.

“I’m paying, remember.”

“I’m being treated quite often these days, I am beginning to become suspicious of it.” He wasn’t looking at Jesse and his voice was flat so it was hard to tell if he was serious or not.

“You can pay if you want, just trying to repay you for finding my wallet.”

“I do not mean to sound unappreciative.” He looked at him with a mixture of confusion and concern.

“All righty then.” He was starting to understand what Genji meant when he said he was dense as a brick. He stepped in front and paid for the cake and coffee, Shimada watching blankly from behind him. They sat by a window and Shimada opened his cake, taking off a small bit with a fork.

“So what did you do at the ranch?”

“Well I was just a kid so I did a lotta shit nobody else wanted to do which mostly had to do with, well, shit.” He shrugged, he hadn’t enjoyed the tasks but they were just part of being a kid he figured. Shimada, however, did that cute thing where his nose scrunched up in disgust again.

“Surely you do not do such things anymore.”

“Naw, hell, I ain’t been back to the ranch in years.” He drifted off a bit, staring just beyond Shimada’s shoulder.

“I apologize, I did not mean to pry. I know how it can be… with family.” He looked directly at Shimada now and as soon as he did, the man looked over his shoulder. He studied the man’s face, trying to get a read on what he was thinking but couldn’t tell. He remembered Genji saying a few things about their family, something about being super rich and a running a criminal empire but he’d never been too keen on talking about it.

“Don’t matter, it’s a perfectly innocent question. These days I try and stay as far away from animal shit as I can.”

“That is a perfectly logical conclusion. The only animals I like are small ones that can be easily cleaned.”

“You got any pets?”

“I have three bearded dragons, though technically one of them is Genji’s, it loves him more than anything.”

“Dragons? Now there’s an interesting pet. I don’t have any pets myself, but a lizard seems like a pretty good one, lots of them out in the Chihuahuan.”

“Chihuahua? Like the dog?”

“Nah, it’s a desert out in Mexico. Dog was named after it, not the other way round. Never did like those things, too yappy.”

“That is certainly true,” Shimada nodded in agreement, smirking above his coffee cup. “That is why lizards are great, they make almost no noise at all.” Jesse snorted and they made idle chat as Hanzo ate his cake. “I’ve been meaning to ask, what exactly do you do at the university, what do you teach, I know you are in the history department, but I’m interested in what you do.”

“Aw, interested in little old me? I’m honored.” Shimada rolled his eyes as he put the half of the cake that was left back in the bag and began to stand, picking up his coffee; Jesse followed behind him. “I teach American history, got myself a whole class on Mexican-American relations.”

“That seems… complicated.”

“It sure as hell is, but I try to keep my personal opinions to myself if I can, people won’t generally take ya seriously if you don’t.” He knew the feeling of wanting to be taken seriously all too well, most times it seemed like that was his only life goal.

“That is idiotic,” Shimada scoffed. Jesse looked down at him in amused surprise.

“Is it now?”

“Yes, it is. I solidly believe that the people who come from a place are the ones who get to say what that place is. People are always trying to tell me things about Japan when they themselves are not even Japanese, it is absurd!” It was as close to angry as he had seen the man get and he smiled down at him.

“Yeah, I get that. I get that too much. Weren’t you recently promoted or something?” He was trying to find an escape from the conversation and he hoped Shimada got the hint.

“Oh, yes, I was, associate professor, tenure, all that, it’s very exciting.”

“Is that sarcasm I hear?” he teased. Shimada scoffed and stopped beside the entrance to the metro.

“I should probably go home now, you can follow if you like but I don’t know how long you planned on keeping me company or if you had other plans….”

“Aw, sug, can’t you see your the one keeping me company, I’ll stay as long as you’ll let me. Besides, I ain’t ever been to y’all’s house before.” He was sincere, he’d been enjoying Shimada’s company and hoped desperately that he felt the same. 

“That is because I told Genji to never bring people I didn’t know over. I do not believe he is home quite yet so it should be fine.” They began walking down into the subway together. “But about the promotion, it is nice. I can’t complain, there’s certainly more money coming in now and I’m quite busy. Just, maybe too busy sometimes. The only reason I was able to go with you today was because it is Friday and praised be the weekend.” Shimada lifted his hands and looked up, making Jesse laugh. “You are an assistant professor, correct?”

“Yup, for a year or so, now.”

“Ah, well, I hope you do not have to wait as long as I did for the promotion. Seven years I had to prove myself.” He looked at his coffee in disdain as they waited for their train.

“Here I was thinking you were the architecture school’s pride and joy,” he teased, elbowing him just a bit.

“On paper for sure, but I’m almost certain that my whole building hates me.” He’d seen the man’s work all over town and was sure the feelings of animosity directed at Shimada couldn’t be anything but jealousy and he scolded himself for the twinge of jealousy that shot through him as well at the thought that he wished his coworkers would feel the same about him.

“Eh, they’re just jealous, don’t pay them no mind.” Shimada hummed quietly as they entered the train. He could feel the tension rising again so he diffused it with a question about his graduate studies. They conversed about their studies for a while, Shimada told stories about his studies of mosques in the middle east and he reminisced about his years on a Navajo reservation.

“And then the branch broke off and this little man came tumbling down but the crack of the branch was so loud it woke the sheriff. He ran into his living room and started shooting blindly out the window.” He had Shimada laughing as they crossed the park where he’d lost his wallet and god he was hoping he could get more of that out of him. “Thankfully, they all missed though he did get hit with some glass, but it was only a minor scrape. The sheriff comes out of the house and points the gun at everybody, yelling wildly and still painfully sleep addled. His daughter comes over and tries to calm him down and that was the last time they ever tried to throw a surprise party for a war veteran.”

“I can imagine.” He could hear the amused eye roll and chuckled a bit to himself. Looking down at Shimada he saw the man looking slightly red and he smirked to himself, proud that he had caused that sweet face. The man’s laugh had been soft, quiet chuffs of laughter followed by an insistent arm pushing into Jesse’s side as if to stop him and if that wasn’t the most precious thing. He really hoped Shimada would want to see him again.

“You wanna do this again sometime?” Shimada looked up at him with raised eyebrows and a slight smirk.

“I would but I have no idea when I’ll be free again except perhaps next Friday.”

“I’m pretty free on Fridays too,” he replied. Shimada just looked down with pursed lips and started rummaging through his bag. He pulled out a phone and pulled up the contacts list.

“Here,” he said and handed Jesse the phone. He put his name and number in the appropriate spaces. “In case we find some time earlier.”

They walked in a now comfortable silence back to Shimada’s apartment. They occasionally pointed out some small creature on the path through the park and had small conversations, but mostly they just enjoyed each other’s presence and the slowly chilling late-September air.

“I’m kinda excited to see y’all’s apartment, the Shimada den.”

“You make me seem like some kind of cave creature.”

“But ain’t that what you are? Some kinda cave wolf. No, better, a dragon.”

“I only own dragons, McCree, I assure you I am not one myself.”

“Naw, up there with your fancy tenure hidden away like some kinda gold stash and breathing fire down on the pedestrians below.” There were those soft chuffs and that shoulder in his arm again.

“Western dragons are very bizarre. An eastern dragon would never behave in such a barbaric fashion, we might hide away in our caves but we would come down to the humans to bring them benevolence and good luck rather than rain terror upon them.”

“Really? I heard some things about those eastern dragons, sure they’re wise and all but don’t you gotta question them sometimes? Might give you the wrong thing thinking it’s kind and benevolent.” Shimada went silent again and this time he could feel tension radiating out of him like a microwave. “But y’all sure got a nice view of the park.”

“Yes, I just wish we were not so high up.” They were on the third floor of stairs and Shimada didn’t seem to be stopping soon. “I’m hoping to get an apartment by the riverside someday.”

“That sounds nice, always liked the water, though I couldn’t swim til college.”

“Really?”

“Yup, lived in the desert, never had much use for it.”

“That’s understandable. I learned from my grandmother and I taught Genji once he was old enough but he was always better than me, somehow. We would always get in trouble for swimming in the koi pond.” He watched the small smile that passed over his face with his own sense of sweet nostalgia. “These days, however, I much prefer boats though it is rare I am allowed to be in them.”

“You ever been sailing?”

“Hmm, no.” He grinned widely as they finally reached Shimada’s floor.

“Well, would you like to?” Shimada turned to look back at him with suspicious eyes.

“Are you teasing me?”

“Nope, not at all, darlin. My old man’s partner’s got a place up in Fairfield that’s perfect for it.”

“I do not know when I would have time. I would love to,” he assured him, “but that kind of trip would be… hard to fit in.”

“I wasn’t thinking any time in the immediate future. It’ll be too cold soon, anyway, but just puttin’ it out there.”

“You are just trying to keep me around, aren’t you.” Shimada smirked at him as he stopped in front of the door at the end of the hall and started rummaging through his bag.

“Aw, sug, I can’t deny that. Of course I am, how could I not wanna keep that pretty face of yours around.”

“Is that all I am, a pretty face?” The man was smirking as he unlocked the door, obviously teasing him.

“Darlin, you know you’re more than that,” he said, fake-pleading. He enjoyed this joke-flirting thing and hoped it would continue. Of course, he liked a lot of things about Hanzo Shimada. The other turned back to him as he turned the door handle.

“That I do.” He was smirking victoriously and when the door opened, Jesse’s heart dropped. Sitting in the middle of the couch was Genji, playing on some handheld game console. Shimada noticed the look on his face and turned back to the door, freezing as Genji looked up at them. “Well, thank you, McCree, today has been very fun but I’m afraid I have some… things to take care of.” He was smiling icily as he turned back to Jesse and inside he saw a slightly terrified look on Genji’s face. He knew that Hanzo would never hurt his brother but he did worry about them both, though he didn’t know the older brother too well at this point. They were both giving him signals that said ‘get out, now’ so he figured that’s what he should do.

“All righty then, see you Friday and you two take care of yourselves.” Shimada nodded at him and though the icy smile was gone, the firm line that had replaced it was not much better. He backed out of the situation and hoped they would both be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am still looking for an editor/beta so please please hit me up on here or at my tumblr delatrose 
> 
> Also I'd like some opinions on my mccree? like i kind of feel like maybe i get too much into identity politics and all that and i definitely do not want to make him tropey at all i just feel like they're both characters who have very close ties to their cultural background and are very proud of it and love exploring it but i don't want it to be Too Much if you know what i mean?


	3. Television Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fights and movie nights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do i usually post on mondays? if so, oops, sorry i forgot, it's tuesday now. but i got so sidetracked while editing this chapter (as always tbh) but i also edited the SHIT out of it, like it's not different just better (so much better). i spent like the last 30 minutes looking at pictures of men in yukatas and now i'm??? gay. just the usual though i guess.
> 
> light pharmercy in this... lol i shipped it more when i originally wrote this but now i'm? mercymaker is life, sorry. still love pharah, just ship her mainly w/ symm though now... big sweetheart that girl, sweet and funny and kind and i love my pharah almost as much as i love her mother.

He had lied to McCree when he said he had had a fight with his brother, he was sure it would happen, it just hadn’t yet. And it looked like it was about to happen now. He was disappointed that he hadn’t gotten to spend more time with McCree but it would be very awkward to have him here with the tension between him and his brother so palpable. He stared blankly at his brother as McCree hurried down the hallway. When McCree had gone down the stairs he entered the apartment, quickly shutting the door behind him and staring at the door for a few seconds. He took a deep breath in and slowly let go of the door handle, turning around to face his brother. 

Genji looked at him with fear in his eyes and he hated that. He hated that his brother still feared him, he had worked so hard to change himself and lessen his brother’s fear. Everything he’d done in the past ten years had been for his brother, helping him achieve stability but here he was, hurting him all over again. He had no idea how to deal with it, any of it. All he wanted was for Genji to be happy, to be safe.

“Why do you want to leave?” He asked quietly.

“I’m not leaving, I’m just moving out--” Genji started.

“Away, going, somewhere else, somewhere I can’t--somewhere far away from me where I can’t keep you safe, where who knows what’ll happen and you’ll just be out there defenseless and unprotected where anyone can just steal you away.” He could feel his pain leaking out in his voice, tight and high as he stared at his brother in bewilderment.

“Anija, I can protect myself, you have taught me many things and that includes self defense, no one is going to steal me away from you. I can take take care of myself and I want you to see that. I just want to do things on my own and be my own person, can’t you accept that?” Genji had stood up and was now pacing back and forth in front of the TV, his hands stuck in his green hair. He hated seeing him like this and he just wanted to stop everything and hold his little brother in his arms and sing softly to him as they had done when they were young.

“But what if I never see you? What if you just leave and I never see you again?” Genji stopped and looked at him with wide eyes.

“Anija, Brother, Hanzo, I would never do that. I could never just leave you, you are the most important person in my life.” Hanzo could see tears welling in his eyes as he crept closer to him.

“But you think that I would leave you, that I would throw you out, that I would leave you on the streets, that you are not also the most important person in _my_ life. Why would you not want to leave someone you think does not care about you?” He could feel tears welling in his own eyes as he strained to keep them in. Genji finally came up to him and encased him in his arms, his warmth surrounding Hanzo and reassuring him despite his initial shock at the action. It had been a long time since they had shown this sort of affection and Hanzo drank it in, realizing just how much he had missed it.

“I-I don’t know. You’re so cold sometimes, it’s hard to understand how you’re feeling. I just, I lose faith sometimes. I’m sorry.” He felt guilty for that, he’d always had trouble expressing his emotions but it was always worst when someone he cared about was affected by it.

“It is not your fault, I am the one who distanced myself from you.” He wrapped his hands around his brother and Genji snuggled his head into his neck.

“You’re not the only one, I thought you hated me so I avoided coming back here for a few weeks.” He sounded embarrassed and it made Hanzo smiled as he rubbed soothing circles into his back, remembering the times Genji had come home upset when they were children.

“Hate you? I could never. You are my annoying little brother but that also means that I love you unconditionally until the end of time.” Genji chuckled into his shoulder and Hanzo walked them over to the couch and sat down. Genji dropped his arms but let his head on Hanzo’s shoulder as Hanzo left one arm hanging over his back. 

“I love you, too, Anija.” He smiled softly down at his brother as Genji separated himself from him, putting the cake on the table in front of the sofa and nodding when Genji turned to him excitedly in a silent question. He grabbed the bag and started stuffing the cake in his face.

“But you better believe I am coming with you to every single open house and tour, I will not have my brother living in abject poverty,” he joked. 

“Ugh, you’re so overbearing,” Genji rolled his eyes and smiled widely. He picked up the remote and turned on the TV. “Wanna watch some nature docs?”

“David Attenborough?”

“No one else.” They rewatched Planet Earth for what seemed like the tenth time at this point, Genji doing a terrible fake British accent to the words he’d almost completely memorized. Hanzo would joke about baby animals dying as Genji mourned and things felt normal for the first time in months. Of course, when Hanzo went to bed that night, the worries returned, the concern for his brother, all alone and the worry that he and his brother would just drift apart slowly and he would be left alone in the world. Suffice to say, he barely got any sleep that night.

“So, now that you’re dating Jesse.” The words startled him out of his own little world he’d created at his draft table in his office with quiet disco playing in the background. He looked sharply over at Genji in the doorway.

“I am not dating McCree.” Genji tilted his head and gave him that face that said ‘I seriously doubt that’. “I’m not.” 

“If you say so.” Hanzo rolled his eyes at his brother’s disbelieving tone, looking back at his brother in annoyance..

“We’re just colleagues who went out for coffee. He wanted to repay me for finding his wallet,” he clarified.

“Yeah, right. I heard you two flirting out in the hallway. He wanted to take you sailing in summer. Anija, it’s September, summer just ended.” Genji stared at him pointedly. “He called you pretty.”

“We were just joking about, you know,” he waved his hand around to imitate... whatever he was trying to get across. He honestly didn’t know. Genji shook his head, ‘tsk’ing as he walked over and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Oh, poor, sad, lonely, Hanzo. You poor, sad soul.” He started massaging his shoulders and Hanzo shrugged the hands off.

“Just tell me what you came in here for, it cannot have been to simply antagonize me.”

“Why not?” He glared at Genji through his glasses as the man smirked and put his hands on the back of Hanzo’s chair and looked over him to the papers on the drafting table. “Ok, it wasn’t. I was wondering if since you’re cool with Jesse now and see I don’t have complete shit taste in friends, you would let me invite a few of them over. I’d really like for them to meet you.”

“Hmm, how many?” Genji perked up immediately and he could feel him bouncing through his chair. He smirked as he looked down at his drafts, happy he could do something for his brother after seeing him so upset yesterday.

“Just a couple, Fareeha, Angie, and maybe… Jesse?” He ended in a smirk as if saying he would invite McCree would seal the deal. He sighed warily even though it was true, having more than one person he knew would make him a thousand times more comfortable and Genji knew this. 

“I suppose that would be all right, but I will not be able to spend much time with you all, I have to finish this draft by monday.” Genji practically squealed in excitement, jumping and almost tipping Hanzo’s chair over.

“Any time you have to give is good,” he said bending down to give Hanzo an over-the-shoulder hug. “But, the real question is: do you at least find Jesse attractive.”

“Of course.” He thought of the man’s deep, resounding laugh and stupidly adorable smile. And his body… only a fool would say that Jesse McCree was not attractive. Genji chuckled at his brother’s quick admission then smirked as he backed out of the room.

“Well then, would it be so bad to entertain the idea at least?” He turned around to reprimand his brother but he was already gone.

A few hours later Genji popped in to say that they would be coming in thirty minutes and Hanzo tightened up his yukata before heading into the living room to sit on the couch with his brother.

“So casual, Hanzo,” his brother teased.

“There is no need to change, I will not be staying long and I like to keep casual when I work from home.”

“In that case you shouldn’t have bothered to even tighten it up.”

“Genji!” he replied, scandalized.

“What, I’m just saying, Jesse probably would’ve loved to see that.” He lightly punched his brother in the shoulder and Genji just laughed. They watched some stupid crime drama on TV as they waited, Hanzo desperately tried to calm his nerves as he had done all of Friday when he knew McCree would come looking for him.

The door buzzed in and Hanzo tensed up. Genji squeezed his brother’s shoulder in a reassuring manner and gave him a quick hug before going to answer the door. Hanzo stood there awkwardly as Genji presumably led his friends into the building and up the five flights of stairs.

“This place must’ve been hell to move into.” Was the first thing he heard as they walked into the apartment. The girl who said it he recognized as Fareeha and behind her was Angela and the second to last was McCree followed by Genji.

“It was,” he responded before Genji could. They all turned to him and three different people’s faces lit up.

“Oh, hello, you must be Hanzo, we’ve heard so much about you, I’m Angela, this is Fareeha, and, well, I’ve heard you already met Jesse,” she gushed.

“Howdy again, Doctor Shimada,” McCree intoned. He gave the man a raised eyebrow, trying to suggest ‘how does she know about that’ and McCree seemingly got it but just shrugged in return. Suddenly he was engulfed in broad arms of Fareeha and pressed against Angela who just smiled at him sheepishly.

“It’s good to finally meet you, oh mysterious older brother.” He was highly uncomfortable, to say the least.

“Uh, Fareeha, you should probably put him down or his yukata might fall off.” Genji to the rescue. He was let down with a soft apology but Angela remained under Fareeha’s arms, tucked securely into her side by an arm over the shoulder. “So, what’s tonight’s movie?”

“A movie night?” Hanzo asked.

“Yeah, we have ‘em every week,” McCree replied. He thought about the implication, every week they would watch a movie at someone else’s house and now Genji had asked for a probably last minute change so they could all meet him. His heart soared and he smiled a bit at Genji who shrugged sheepishly and turned away with a slight blush.

“Ah, well, I do not have time to stay the whole time but it was nice to meet you Angela, Fareeha. It is good to see you again, McCree.” He bowed slightly to each of them and started to leave.

“Wait, anija, stay for just a bit, please? I won’t make you stay the whole time, but for the first like, thirty minutes, please?” Genji was pulling on his sleeve and he turned back to the pleading face. He looked over the faces of Genji’s friends; Fareeha’s confident smile, Angela’s kind one, and McCree’s lopsided one.

“Fine, but only thirty minutes, I really do need to finish this and I already spent the past thirty watching NCIS with you.”

“Your company is always welcome.” It was Angela. “Tonight’s movie is Emma.”

“I have read the book,” Hanzo replied calmly.

“Oh, really? Did you like it? It’s one of my favorites.”

“Jane Austen’s best work, a real classic.” Angela’s eyes lit up.

“I’m so glad to find a like mind.”

“I think I remember when you read that book, didn’t you have a crush on that one guy… what was his name?” Genji teased.

“His name was Mr. Knightley and I did not have a _crush_ on him, I simply admired his character.” Angela was giggling into her hand and Fareeha looked at them in belayed amusement, McCree just watched with wide eyes.

“He is a very good man, though stubborn at times,” Angela added politely.

“Exactly,” Hanzo said defensively.

“Now, let’s watch the movie,” Angela said, putting the DVD in the player.

“We only have the couch,” Genji said, looking at their recently purchased couch and tatami mat.

“I have some spare pillows and a blanket in my office.” He hurried to get them and put the two pillows on the floor where Fareeha and Genji had moved the coffee table from. He gave the blanket Angela and sat next to Genji on a pillow as Fareeha went to turn off the lights and the movie began.

He watched with familiarity as Emma mourned the marriage of Mrs Weston and lead poor Harriet down her wayward road. He found it a bit hard to concentrate at times, McCree’s legs right behind him, hovering as if he could just slip right between them and if that wasn’t the worst idea he’d ever had. He excused himself at Emma’s christmas party as Jane played the piano. He worked as best he could, thinking about the party in the other room. He quietly let himself ponder Genji’s earlier statement. Why wouldn’t it be a good idea to pursue him? He was sufficiently attractive, he was kind, funny, smart, passionate… but those are all such generic things. His last partner had been all those things too and that had gone... horribly awful.

When he thought about that man he knew he wasn’t going to be working any more that night so he got up and walked to the living room to rejoin the party. Just outside the room he stopped, hearing McCree say his name.

“So that’s the kinda man Shimada likes, huh?” He heard on the screen the sounds of Emma and Mrs Elton’s fall out, Mr Knightley pulling Emma from the situation. It was his favorite part, Emma getting a reality check and finally realizing she loved Mr Knightley.

“Taking notes, Jesse?” Angela teased. He stood just outside the room, listening intently.

“Well, I doubt a fictional character would make good reference material and sure he seems like a great person but he’s also pretty stuck up, ain’t he? Despite all that white knight bullshit.” Hanzo had to nod in agreement, Mr Knightley was a good man but he’d grown out of his crush (though he loathed to call it that) and could now see the character’s flaws.

“That’s true, I doubt anyone would actually want to date a fictional character if they came to life.” Angela agreed.

“I don’t know, Jane’s pretty damn cute, reminds me of someone,” Fareeha added.

“Oh, stop it, you.” Angela again. He suspected they were a couple but he had no way of proving it just yet.

“Do you really intend to court my brother, Jesse?” This was Genji and Hanzo froze in terror and embarrassment.

“Don’t know why you gotta be so formal, Genji,” McCree laughed awkwardly.

“Because as much as he doesn’t want to admit it, he is fragile. He’s had a tough time in relationships and I won’t have anyone playing with his heart again.” Hanzo wanted to run in and shove a pillow in Genji’s mouth, anything to shut him up, just shut up, Genji. He couldn’t imagine how awkward Angela and Fareeha must feel, he just wanted to melt into the ground.

“Well, it’s fair that you want to protect your brother, but I sure as heck don’t know. I mean, I only just met him and yeah, I had fun but you know I don’t do casual. He’s handsome as the devil and smart as him too but I’m not one to run into things heart first.” Hanzo fell to his knees slowly, relieved. He’d been trying to tell his brother how he felt, but somehow McCree had been able to mirror his thoughts exactly.

“That’s good,” Genji hummed lowly. “Hanzo is the same way, very cautious. Just know that if you give him another reason to avoid the History Department I’ll come over there and kick all of your asses, even big man Reyes.”

“Good luck kickin his ass, Genji,” McCree chuffed, laughing softly. He heard Angela’s soft giggles and imagined Fareeha’s amused smile. He lay his head back against the wall and wondered what he’d done to deserve his brother’s devotion.

He took his phone out of the breast of his yukata and opened up to McCree’s contact.

_Hello, this is Hanzo._

**Doctor Shimada? Ain’tcha supposed to be working?**

**__** _Cannot focus, thought I ought to text you since I never did yesterday._

**Well then why don’t you come back and join us if you ain’t gettin anything done anyway?** He smiled at the text, he really didn’t know he was sitting just outside the room. **Movie’s almost done anyway.**

He stood up and walked in the room, seeing the surprised looks on everyone’s faces.

“I heard it was almost over and I didn’t want to miss you leaving.” He sat on the pillow next to Genji. They watched the rest of the movie and said goodbye to Angela, Fareeha, and McCree before cooking dinner and going to bed. Lying in bed awake again, Hanzo’s thoughts conflicted between thinking these past two days had been the worst and best in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and queue them texting each other everyday non-stop to the point of hanzo getting so caught up in one of their discussions he almost misses a call with an important client.
> 
> next chapter is all jesse. jesse chapter. chapter for my boy, my main man (besides genji). well, som's there too and i quite frankly adore her as well. if you don't care about jesse then please leave but the chapter after that is so adorable, please, god, it's so cute.
> 
> why doesn't hanzo call angie and pharah by their last names? simply bc he does not know them my dudes.
> 
> also please review, i hate to beg, but i really don't understand what to do or how to change my story if people don't review and tell me what they think. not just reactions (though those are important, and if you wanna debate my opinion on jane austens books i'll eat it up) but criticisms and compliment, i can't tell you how much i live for that shit.


	4. City of Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse hates his life guest starring Sombra, Love of My Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck i'm sorry this is late i just kept forgetting to edit it. there will be a new chapter tomorrow as well as a one shot i wrote that i hope makes up for my tardiness. again: pls tell me if there's anything i do that should b changed specifically regarding the whole race thing and also (new sensitive topic, yay) disabilities/prosthesis (ie mccree's lack of an arm).

Christ, he was having a bad week. Maybe he’d just been having a bad month, really, or maybe his entire life was bad. He couldn’t figure it out just yet. First had been that asshole freshman who’d made fun of his accent in front of the whole class and next had been fucking Jackson (more widely known as Jackass) questioning his entire study in front of one of his investors. Then he’d lost an important translation document somewhere in the anthropology department and it wouldn’t be too hard to go and get it but he always got into arguments with them about ethics and he really wasn’t feeling it right now.

The only thing the week had going for it was Friday with its promise of coffee with Shimada. He remembered Saturday, Shimada in that yukata that lined his neck perfectly as he sat just a few inches from his legs. Then there was Genji’s warning, he’d heard him talk of his brother’s boyfriends before but never in a good way and not in a while. He knew he wanted the older brother, but lord knows if he wanted to date the man and, as Genji said, Hanzo wasn’t out for casual. He wasn’t either, couldn’t really afford to be at this point. He was almost forty and still living in a shit apartment in Harlem by himself with only the occasional one-night stand. He didn’t know what he wanted with the older Shimada brother but it definitely wasn’t what he usually got these days.

He sighed and sat up from his desk and stretched, rubbing his temples to dispel his oncoming headache. He shut his laptop and started walking to his next class, hoping it went better than Monday’s. Today’s topic was the war of 1812 which wasn’t something he particularly enthusiastic about but it had to be taught, or so Gabe told him. His Tuesday-Thursday classes were his favorite right now, Mexican-American history and History of the Aztec Empire but it wasn’t Tuesday or Thursday so all he had was generic American history with a bunch of annoyed non-history majors just trying to get their gen-eds out of the way.

“Good afternoon, class,” he intoned as he set his computer down and used his stump to… fuck.

“Um, sir, where is your arm?” one of his students asked. He looked down at his arm in disbelief.

“Well, damn, looks like I forgot it.” He held up his stump of an arm and heard a quiet laugh perpetrate the large lecture hall. He usually tried to keep his hands out of his lectures as much as possible to keep it from becoming a thing because once someone picks up on his disability it becomes the talk of the rest of the class. Now, though he can’t help it.

“How’d you lose your arm?” Some nosy son of a bitch from the back asks.

“Well, that’s a long story that I’m not keen on telling right now.”

“I heard you were in a gang and lost it there.” That voice he knew and internally rolled his eyes. It was one of Jackson’s seniors, why he’d waited this long to take an introductory lecture he had no idea but he figured it was probably to antagonize him.

“I ain’t saying you’re right or wrong but I didn’t get it in a car crash.” He heard hushed whisper fill the room as every person turned to their neighbor excitedly. He sighed deeply and opened his laptop, pulling up his slides for the day. “Calm down, y’all, we got stuff to do today. My arm ain’t returning any time soon and my stories are remaining deep in this ol’ mind bucket a’mine.” He always jokingly laid it down pretty heavy with his accent whenever he was trying to get out of a sticky situation in class, humorous, but not enough to distraction.

He started his lesson, describing the most important battles and making snarky comments about how America wasn’t really as great as it touted itself to be. He always did that, some people liked it and some didn’t, but those people also assumed he’d been born in Mexico not New Mexico. He hadn’t found a good way to explain the difference in a way they’d understand yet and that was what really bothered him. He hated looking as if he didn’t know something. He always practiced his lectures at least three times before coming to class and he never messed up but he always felt the eyes of the of his students boring into him.

Research he was good at, research he enjoyed. Reading books, studying historical documents and relics, talking to people about their stories he loved that, that’s what made his job worth it. But since he’d been promoted a year ago, Gabe told him he had to start teaching classes, which he was happy to do. He loved when students came to him after class and asked him questions, he just couldn’t stand the actual lectures, the lights in front of the projector just seemed like a spotlight for all his flaws to be put out in the world.

People rarely critiqued his research without throwing in some kind of compliment unless they just blatantly objected his views and he tended to ignore those anyway, there was no pleasing them. But now that he was teaching, people saw him, he was out of the library and into the spotlight. Everything he’d ever done had been suddenly brought back up and stuffed in his face, people questioning his research and his motives for what he’d done. He didn’t belong in a place like this, with all these proud, confident elites when he was just a small town delinquent running from his past.

He missed his days in the Anthropology department, him and Ana spending countless hours setting up international skype calls, looking at scripts for hours and trying to translate ancient languages, and staying up hours after the library had closed to the public searching for the perfect document. He’d always had so much fun running across South America and just talking to people about their lives and learning how they did things. He even missed the near-constant ethics arguments on planes to Peru. Now all his life knew was monotony, sitting in the same place doing the same thing day-in, day-out. Sometimes he wished he could go back to his grad school days.

At times like these he thought of his friends, of Angela switching to the OR after working the ER for years, Genji joining an studio after freelancing for so long, Hana doing that amazing presentation of traditional animation having only ever 3D animation, They were amazing, and if they could be that amazing, then he could too. He just wasn’t used to it yet. It was his first year teaching, his first year as a professor, he would get used to it. If he didn’t, he was screwed.

“Hey, chico.” He looked away from his phone to see Sombra waltzing up to him. “Saw your lecture.”

“Oh, d’ya like it?” He asked, nervously chuckling.

“Jesse, are you still worried about that? You are a good teacher, even I was interested and you know how much I hate history.”

“I guess.” He looked down, scratching his head and he could feel Sombra rolling her eyes at him. “It’s just, living in Gabe and Jack’s foot steps, y’know.”

“If that’s your problem, you should have stuck with anthropology, you’ll always be compared to Papi if you stick with history. And Jack? You shouldn’t even worry yourself with that asshole.” She always spat his name like a curse but he knew she really cared for him so he just smirked.

“You say that but back during the Crisis you shut down everyone who said a single bad thing about him.” He pointed at her sternly with his stump and she scrunched her nose in amused disgust.

“He’s family, Jessito, no matter how much I don’t like him.” They left the hall and started the walk back to Jesse’s office.

“Oh? And pray-tell, what is it that you don’t like about him?”

“He’s too perfect,” she said frowning deeply, making Jesse laugh.

“Little golden boy.”

“Exactly, Jesse, you get it. He’s so nice it’s suspicious. Of course, I know all his secrets. I know all the dirty deals he’s made, the things he’s done to win. If I wanted to, I could easily bring him off his little pedastal. It’s good that he knows it, keeps him right where I want him.” She was smirking evilly but he knew she was at least partially joking.

“Christ, Som, that’s evil.” She turned her smirk at him.

“Is it?” She laughed shortly and turned to walk in front of him, hands behind her head. He smiled at her back, she had the weirdest sense of humor but it’s what came from living with Gabe. Hers was definitely more morbid than his or Gabe’s but none of them told what most people would consider ‘jokes’, mostly just biting sarcasm and over-exaggerated storytelling. “Anyway, wanna tell me about cute asian man you had an adorable coffee date with?”

“Gosh, Som, how’d you know-- never mind, I don’t wanna know. I’m surprised you don’t know who he is though, thought you knew everyone, that’s Hanzo Shimada, famous architect.”

“Know the name, never looked at a picture because I assumed he was some ugly old man, now I have to do more research, damn.”

“Som, don’t go too deep, I don’t want to invade his privacy.” They entered his office again and he started to search for his prosthetic.

“Can’t promise I won’t but whatever I find, I won’t tell you.”

“Som.” He picked up his prosthetic once he found it and put it in plain view so he wouldn’t forget it next time.

“Hey, if you don’t know, it’s like it never happened at all, right?” She shrugged nonchalantly and he sent her a glare as he picked a book up off his desk and opened it to the last dog-eared page, not really reading it, just preparing for when Sombra left.

“I’ll know you did it, I just won’t know the info and that’ll make me feel worse ‘cause then I’ll be curious at what it is but also guilty for being curious and mad at you for doin’ it.”

“That’s too many emotions,” she said, shaking her head bemusedly.

“Exactly, it’s confusing.”

“Ugh, you’re confusing me. Just give me the deets, I’m no good at lip-reading yet.”

“You really were--goddammit Som. Whatever, we just talked. About life, things, got to know each other. It’s not exactly like we’re friends, we just met each other that day.”

“You just met that day and you went out for coffee with him and paid for it.”

“See, this is exactly why I don’t want you looking up stuff on him. You don’t got any context, he found my wallet and let me treat him for it.” She regarded his face for a second before looking at her fingernails.

“He’s cute, though.”

“Yeah.”

“Go for it,” she pushed, urging him on with her stare.

“I can’t just-- we barely know each other,” he said in a futile attempt to get her to understand.

“So? Isn’t that what people use dating for? To get to know another person and make it obvious they’re interested in them. If you just go in with the intention of getting to know him as a friend, you might never get the chance to have anything else. You gotta make your intentions clear early or it’ll just get shoved under the bus.”

“I hate it when you’re right.” He threw his head back and put his book over his face. The more he thought about it, though, the more it made sense. He couldn’t just hide behind the curtain of friendship forever, that would just be leading him on. But was he, really? Their conversations were of those flirty friends that could easily turn into something else but if that went on, would it just turn into a normal friendship? Would he lose his chance? “I just, I don’t know what I want yet, and I don’t want to rush him into something he doesn’t want.”

“Are you seeing him again?”

“Yeah, Friday.”

“Then ask him.” She took the book off his face and snapped it shut. “Figure out what you want and ask him what he wants. Be clear about it, you’ll never have a good relationship if you can’t even openly state your interest in someone.”

“Fine,” he pouted, reaching out for his book. She pulled it away from him, leaving him floundered and almost falling out of his chair.

“Good.” She lightly placed the book on his desk and walked to the door. “I just want to see you happy, Jessito, so forget about Jack and Gabe, you’re better than both of them.” She slithered out of the room just as silently as she entered anywhere and he smiled after her; he was so lucky to have her.

On Friday, she came to his last class again and walked with him to Shimada’s office, telling him about some hack she’d done, making herself sound like some kind of cyber criminal from a shitty crime drama. He laughed at her antics, knowing she mostly worked as a freelance software designer and that the only criminal empire she had was a large database of information on various people she took an interest in.

He’d thought about what she said on Wednesday and had decided to do it. He would try his best to ask him carefully but he decided he wanted to date the man, whether it lead to disaster or a new beginning, it was better to just get it out of the way so it didn’t turn into something he would regret for the rest of his life. He hated thinking about what could’ve been. He was a man of action and it was time he took some.

With regards to standing in Gabe’s shadow and not feeling comfortable where he was, he still had a lot to think about. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to hide under a rock. Romance was something he’d done before (not successfully, but still), this was new to him, foreign. He was used to avoiding the spotlight but now he was right in the middle of it, the underdog, the one no one thought would succeed, but then again, doesn’t everyone love an underdog story?

“Hey there, Doctor Shimada.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m a biologist, I’m used to studying cells and genes and all that, I have no idea what research projects by historians entail so I apologize (I do know more about anthropologists and architects which is why I gave them those backgrounds lmao).
> 
> A little on Jesse’s arm: i decided to go with just a cosmetic prosthesis (cannot function as an actual hand and is more there to just look like an arm) bc myoelectric prosthesis (attached to nerves and can generally function as a hand/arm) is still being heavily researched and is VERY expensive and though Jesse has two rich dads he would be adamant on not burdening with such a cost and I believe the hand he has now was a compromise (he didn’t want them to get anything). But like Jesse’s totally cool with his missing arm, not ashamed of it at all, he just really hates being the center of attention so he wears it constantly bc he knows people stare if he doesn’t. At home he never uses it (and back when he was a researcher lmao, one more reason to miss his old job) bc it’s kind of a nuisance.
> 
> Tldr: he hates the thing but wears it bc people are nosy shits and he has Anxiety
> 
> Sombra pushing the action, thank you Sombra we love you

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all! I hope you enjoyed it, your comments and kudos are always appreciated.
> 
> Next week: they actually meet! Coffee dates (?) ensue.
> 
> Also, a vaquero is simply the Spanish word for cowboy, I simply find it more plausible to use in the context of Jesse's upbringing. I am going to try and add bits of their culture in here w/o being too stereotypical or just implausible and disengaging but if I do something wrong, please tell me and I will try and fix it as quick as I can.


End file.
